Tuesday, November 25, 2008


So I wasn't technically "tagged" with this... I just stole it from Reva. And the tag doesn't really work for me: going in to my pictures folder, opening up the 7th folder and posting the 7th picture. I don't have 7 folders yet. (I imagine a wedding will change ALL of that.) So I simply got my 7th picture in iPhoto, and that is the gloriousness you see above. The fellow getting pummeled is my hubby-to-be, while the fellow doing the pummeling is his buddy from tech school. This was taken last year, when the Rockies and the Phillies were vying for a World Series spot, and both these guys felt they needed to represent their respective home states. (In case you had forgotten, the Rockies made it all the way to the World Series, only to be swept by the Red Sox... booooooo.)

I have actually been thinking about this guy and his fiancée a lot lately, and was happy to find this picture. Last year, that couple happened to be at as similar a point in their lives as we were. She's a really kickass piccolo player looking for an orchestral career, and after an undergrad in music, he decided repair was the way to go. Sound familiar? We devised a plan last year that both she and I would make it in to the same orchestra, and then our hubbys could open a repair shop together. Then they ruined everything by moving back home to the east coast once repair school was done. And now? Well, we just miss them like crazy.

It turns out Portland, while one of the coolest cities ever, puts you pretty far away from a lot of places. We find this longing for our friends creeps up on us a lot. And our families often seem out of reach. Knoxville's an even harder place to access than Portland, it turns out: on Thursday we're taking an hour flight to Seattle, a 4 hour flight to Cinncinati, and then another hour flight into Knoxville. We're leaving the house before anyone should humanly be expected to function in the morning and getting in just in time for dinner. My brain is still doing backflips trying to figure all that out. I just hope the exhaustion from travelling will get me to bed at a decent hour and I can get up early enough to offset the jet lag. (I guess I'm not that worried about sleeping in... Thanksgiving with my family includes a 6-year-old with some big lungs.)

I always seem to wax nostalgia in this thing - don't get me wrong, life here is still pretty great. We've got great friends who we've all sucked in to our world of card games, and just last night I had a tremendously fun and educational time reading Beethoven quartets with some great people. Seems like there's this constant balance, though - how often to feed the part of me that misses people, and how often to indulge in the present. I think they're both necessary.

For now, though, I'll do neither. Our apartment's a mess, and I've got it in my head that it's going to be clean before we leave. Who knows whether or not this will actually happen. :)

People are talking!!

I love comments on my blog posts! I'm just sorry it's taken me so long to get around to them! I promise now I'll start talking back. :)

Saturday, November 22, 2008



You never quite know the joy of a functional digestive system until you live without one for many, many years. I have to undo over a couple decades of bad eating habits. After thinking that cramping and running to the bathroom half the time after eating was just normal digestion, I've trained myself to eat through the pain. I've only seen the benefits of eating as the nice tastes that hit my tongue, and not the numerous other ones; a healthy diet can give you more energy, you can actually CONTROL your bloatiness every month based on the things you eat, and being properly fed has an enormous impact on your mood.

And thank goodness for Chipotle, an unexpected gluten-free haven that encompasses joys of both the palette and the gut.

It's taken quite a while of diet adjustment, and I'm still learning. No dairy yet, as my belly's still healing - lactose is difficult to digest for weak intestines. And not too many vegetables or fruits at the same time - too much fiber can bring the cramping all back. However, today's lunch cuisine was one of Chipotle's chicken burrito bowls, with rice, black beans, two different types of salsa, and lettuce sprinkled on top. No dairy, no gluten, plenty of protein, and not too high in the calorie count, either.

Not only was it delicious, but I'm typing this entry now almost two hours after eating it, and my stomach feels WONDERFUL. No cramping. No hasty digestion and running to the bathroom. A calm and relaxed belly is an amazing feeling, and every time I think of the way it used to be, I tear up a little.

It's going to take a while to feel like this calm of a stomach is normal. But the relief I feel over this is 25 years worth. And that's not an exaggeration. I can't believe there are people living with this condition for 40, 50, even 60 years before somebody figures out what's wrong with them. My quality of life has gone up enormously.

I also had a great night at Fred Meyer last night where I hit the gluten free MOTHERLOAD. After grabbing just a couple things from the gluten free shelf, I ventured out, more from curiosity than anything, to find something else that sounded really good. Some sort of Thai noodles really struck my fancy, and I found myself in the ethnic food aisle. (Still not sure why they call it that... they could say the Mexican and Asian food aisle and be more accurate.) I found tons of alternatives, from the Thai Kitchen and A Taste of Thai brands that were ALL gluten free. In fact, the Thai Ginger instant soup I had last night (the closest thing I've had to Ramen noodles in a long time) would be an easy conversion to egg drop soup.

The hunt for things I can eat can become exciting with the right attitude. Lumping the products on the table in front of Tom last night, pronouncing with each package, "Gluten free! Gluten free!" felt amazing. I'd have to say, if I had been told that I HAD to have an autoimmune disease and was forced to pick which one, I'd take this one in a heartbeat. Celiac disease, in this day and age, is completely livable.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Exhaustion

I wonder if it was just pure tired-ness that caused me to sleep as hard as I did last night.

Which was HARD.

I didn't feel that well yesterday - I poured all my energy into my lessons and Linfield rehearsal, so by the time I got home, I was physically worn out and had a hint of a sore throat. I had the chills, and bundled myself up under the blankets within an hour of getting home. The last thing I remember saying to Tom was, "It's a really bad time to get sick! And it's so cold in here!" Tom then wrapped his arm around me, intent on warming me up, and it must have been exactly what I needed - I fell right asleep, and woke up this morning in the exact same position. I didn't even MOVE last night. I feel a little better, but still like I'm coming down with something.

I wonder if it's the pure volume of stuff I've been doing. I'm teaching 24 students now, in the midst of more than one concert series, and I'm also trying to prepare for two auditions in January. Why am I taking auditions? Because there are parts of the year where I encounter a long period of time with NO checks, and I'm just not sure I'm cut out for it anymore!

I don't want to move, but I'm not sure the opportunities are available for me here. Tom and I are doing just fine for ourselves, but we both agree that we want a family someday, and need to start looking for an advance in our careers. I know it will come along in some form or another, and right now is a time when we're simply paying our dues. And this is - what, character building?

However, a week from Thursday is Thanksgiving. That's going to be a long day for the two of us. But by the end of the day we'll be in Knoxville, surrounded by my whole family. It hasn't happened for two years, all of us getting together: the parents, the sister, brother-in-law, niece, and the hunny all at once. We both need a vacation, and we can't imagine a happier time than hanging out with the fam. So I'm just going to push through the exhaustion, make my way through my box of diet coke, and wait until the day when I can think about nothing but sitting on the big red couch in my parents' living room, sipping wine, and playing Trivial Pursuit.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I don't get it... separation between church and state seems so simple.

Protection for the church from the state: if the church believes a member isn't adhering to their doctrine, they have the right to ban this person from their church, free from questions and certainly free from government prosecution.

Protection for the state from the church: religious beliefs and doctrines shouldn't affect lawmaking for the American public.

Why is the country that I so dearly love seeming to have such problems with this concept?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Proposition 8

I think Keith really sums up a lot of my feelings here. But just to offer a few more reasons for why the passage of this amendment is cruel, inhumane, and just plain terrible, I'm trying to think of all the possible reasons someone would have voted for this law.

"The Bible tells me homosexuality is wrong."
Fair enough, and I truly respect whatever religion you believe in. I think one of the main Biblical passages people reference to prove this is when Lot (I think it's Lot - please correct me if my reference is wrong here) ends up staying with his family during the night close to Soddom. Late at night, two men come to his tent, wanting to have sex with him. Lot says no thank you, but the two men persist, apparently supposed to appear evil. Why doesn't anyone tell what happens next in the story - that Lot offers up his two young daughters for sex instead? I understand the guy was scared from two people who were obviously invading his privacy, but doesn't that technically make him the worst father EVER?
EDIT: If I've got this right, the Bible also tells you not to judge, lest you be judged. And to love your neighbor. And to treat people the way you would want to be treated. Isn't this passage a miserable failure to do all three of these things?

"I don't know how to explain to my children what they see when we pass two men holding hands on the street."
First, you're assuming a child would see something wrong with that. Children aren't born with the idea homosexuality is wrong, right, or just an aspect of life - they're taught it. And secondly, if you're too cowardly to explain something as simple as the idea of homosexuality, (in child terms, it's as simple as "a boy falling in love with a boy or girl falling in love with a girl") perhaps you should rethink this whole parenting thing. There's a lot of way more awful stuff in the world that extends past homosexuality you'll have to explain to them. When you think of rape, starvation, genital mutilation, and genocide, alongside hundreds of other terrible things that happen in this world, doesn't explaining a form of love seem like a wonderful thing to tell your children about?

"It's a question of protecting the sanctity of marriage."
I'm sorry, but this argument is old and desperate. It's actually a question of stripping someone of their civil rights as an American. You forget that heterosexual couples don't have to be in love - don't even have to KNOW each other - to get married in this country. It's a wonderful country we live in, and no one would ever think of taking that right away from the people who have it now. Oh, except California. And in many other states, they'd stop it from even happening.

"The more gay couples we have, the more gay kids we'll have."
While I know this isn't true, I'll suspend my logic for a moment and go with this. And I don't see a problem with that. Perhaps they're afraid their own child may be approached by a gay friend of theirs, asked on a date, and become uncomfortable. Shouldn't they be taught to react like all other similar situations? If you're not interested, politely decline. If you are interested, take it slow and enjoy yourself! Besides, when I look back on my history of dating and sexuality, all, and I repeat ALL of my uncomfortable experiences were with MEN.

Perhaps I'm missing something I've forgotten here, and I'd love to be enlightened if that's the case. Because at the moment, I find this a simple, unconstitutional amendment. You grant something to one American that you won't grant to another. You're not allowed to do that in this country, no matter who you are. I'm hopeful that this will be taken to the supreme court and be repealed. So does Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of the referenced article.

I can't wait to call Tom my husband. I'm so unbelievably thankful for that right. And it makes me heartbroken that in California, nearly 40,000 people had that right and that joy briefly extended to them and then taken away. It marks the first time in American history where a right was granted to someone and then taken away. It's brutal, and it's a terrible treatment of our fellow citizens.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I love you, America.

My life is currently spread in several different directions, and the happiness and sadness has kind of worked its way across my brain to form some sort of mealy numbness.

On Friday, I learned my best friend's mother had committed suicide. It's one of the most awful, terrible, things that could ever happen to anyone, and the fact that it happened to her makes it so much worse. She's a brilliant, wonderful, vivacious person with a wonderful sense of humor, and I know if anyone has the strength to get through a blow like this, it's her. Still, I hurt for her, and I feel so far away from her.

And really, there's no good way to segue from that statement, so I'm just going to do a clumsy one.

This need to get a new job is getting more and more apparent. The Oregon Ballet Theater (Theatre? They're kind of pishers either way) decided to cut the orchestra's Nutcracker shows from 15 down to 6. For you non-freelancing musicians out there, the Nutcracker is pretty much our ONLY source of revenue in the holiday season, and if you're able to get yourself in an orchestra like this, you're set through this hard season of no weddings and no concerts in other orchestras. Oh, unless they pull something like this. I've gone from one gig away from making it through a rough spring without many jobs to, "Huh - how am I going to pay my January student loans?" It's a big deal, and I don't understand why they don't get that if they call us for a service, we usually have that money earmarked for something.

On top of all this, everyone I know (including myself) is anxious about this election day. In my mind, Obama supporters have far more to lose if McCain wins than the opposite way around. (After all, one of the advantages in America is being able to choose what to do with your OWN body. Seems simple enough.) It's such an important, tense day in American history, and I'll just be glad when I can absorb and deal with the decision.

It's not all bad, as I've made it sound. I'm preparing for a couple auditions in January that I'm very excited about. I'm getting freaking ORGANIZED for these auditions. :) And the wedding planning is still going well - I'm thrilled to be able to host an event where the purpose is to just hang out and be happy. (Well, except for the people we had to cut off the invite list so we could make our budget... they're not going to be happy.)

And, right now, I'm going to go running. It's been great for my body and my mind, to just let my stress wick right off me.