I don't think we realized, as kids, how much power we actually had over adults. All it took were a few well-placed words in a vulnerable situation, and we had those adults wishing they knew what was going inside those tiny little heads of ours.

I'm only starting to realize it myself... all it takes during my lessons with the kiddos is an off-the-cuff comment. I'm personally invested in them as it is, and if they are able to involuntarily poke a nerve, it can really stay with me. It's amazing - kids don't mean it when they poke at a nerve. Adults do the same thing and it's emotional manipulation.

When does that point of understanding come about? I think for most kids, it starts young, with people you know well. We recognize that the cute things we do make our parents happy, and they're less likely to tell us "no" when we're happy, and therefore we act cute more often. We're taught in school at a young age that it's rude to point out things that could be perceived as flaws or insecurities. Pointing out another kid's bad skin or poor reading abilities makes them feel powerless. But where do the more subtle comments turn into manipulations? When can we start to read reactions of others and know we've said something wrong? I know there are still adults who have yet to figure this out... or who love the manipulation. But when a kid does it, they're still learning their own social interaction. And what is our responsibility as adults? Do we shake it off and chalk it up to childhood? Do we tell them they've done something that's stung?

My role as a mentor has plenty of gray areas like this. I have so much to learn.