Zee bee-yoo-tee-full violinist

There are some pictures of me on the web that are less than flattering. (We can just leave it at that.)

This profile pic is definitely not one of them. It was taken by the amazingly talented Wendy Collins, whose website is here. If you are anywhere near the Portland area, getting any kind of photos, from headshots to candid family portraits, is an incredibly good idea.

I'm totally not exaggerating - I will be using the headshots she grabbed of me for many, many years to come.

I had myself a meditative weekend.

Friday and Saturday were spent in beautiful Astoria, which is a place I adore visiting more and more with each journey out there. Played some amazing music with some amazing people. I'm always grateful to play in an orchestra that functions as a mutual admiration society.

I also started reading Violin Dreams by Arnold Steinhardt. It's a book I've been recommended highly before by other musicians. I'm completely in love with it, and only on chapter four. The man knows how to write about music. It's like I took time to get back to my roots. Tell myself why I chose music as my profession, and that bad things happen in EVERY profession. All that matters is how one proceeds.

Sunday was spent completely with my husband. We've now been married a year, and have a great understanding and respect for each other. We took the day to drive up to Seattle and see a Mariners game. We ate good food and cheered loudly. Also got our feet and jeans pretty soaked - did you know it sometimes POURS in the Northwest?

I took, of course, zero pictures of these three wonderful days. I'm kind of okay with that. It was cleansing, and after an emotional week, I feel so much better. I'm practicing again, working out again, heck - I'm going OUTSIDE again. Things are much better, and much more stable. My summer festivals are shaping up, my fall studio is under development, and my winter recital is nearly decided.

Thank goodness.... I'm a musician again!!

I have this uneasy feeling. I'm feeling as though there are some people out there that I loved and trusted that suddenly did everything in their power to not have me around anymore. I haven't had that feeling since high school.

Heck, look at that sentence. It SOUNDS like high school.

I wish I could be more specific, but this is as venty as I can get on the internet. I knew this would be an interesting summer, and I'm not wrong.

This is a time in my life where I am grateful - SO GRATEFUL - that I am a musician. Music is a world to immerse oneself in to escape any troubles that come around. I am lucky enough to go to a rehearsal tonight and just PLAY. Good music, too - Sibelius and Grieg are wonderful pieces to take you away from reality and enjoy the life you live in.

Plus I am having a GREAT hair day, so I got that going for me.

Gather your forces before venturing forth

I ran across this piece of paper during the actual final (!!) phase of organizing our second bedroom. Quotes I had written down from ONE rehearsal at Northwestern. Too funny, and too good to not save electronically.

"French horn, English horn, American girls."
"Something is boiling underneath. It's a stew."
"At F, which stands for 'Florida Natural Orange Juice.'"
"Nature is not cooperating at the moment."
"French horns - I'm praying for you guys."
"I'm sorry, we have a huge COUGH coming from Memphis, Tennessee!"
"Maybe it was just a flukey mistake."
"Harmonics: nobody knows why we have them, nobody likes them, nobody knows how to play them."
"It's very cute what Mahler wrote."
"Give him slap in the face. He deserve it! Some people are bad."
"Those are boots. But they're not Austrian - they're Czech! Great shoes."
"Violas - please look at the freaky note there."
"Six flats. That's not a big Christmas present."
"Don't look at me!"
"I just realized Mahler was illegitimate son of Hindemith."
"I am delegating my authority from France to the trombone section."
"GATHER YOUR FORCES BEFORE VENTURING FORTH!" (He must have yelled this - my handwriting is in all caps.)

Time on her hands and an America's Next Top Model marathon on the TV was a dangerous combination. The second bedroom had been nagging - nay, SCREAMING at her to get organized. Piles upon piles of paper mess had to be gone through, and things needed to be labeled, reorganized, and in some cases delicately removed WITHOUT the comfort of protective biohazard gear.

Armed with a diet coke, she tiptoed her way in. The room looked innocent enough, but behind those swinging white doors lurked the day project of terror. Faintly, she heard a trace of her only company in the background:

"Girrrrrrrrl, we got TYRAMAIL!!"

Inhale, exhale. It just COULDN'T be as bad as she thought, right? There was no way in except to jump in with both feet. She reached out, touched the handle, and flung it wide open.

"AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

****

Conclusion to follow. (???)

Tonight I go to bed with nearly two weeks of unemployment facing me.

I've been told not to freak out, and to enjoy this amazing amount of free time. And I think I will. Cleaning, reading, practicing, gardening, and video games are a few items on my short list.

Of course, who knows how my subconscious will handle the whole thing. Perhaps anxiety ridden dreams of werewolves in suits telling me I will never work again will wrack my brain. (Don't laugh.)

(Okay, laugh. I guess I would.)

No matter what, I have Udi's bagels and Tofutti cream cheese awaiting me for breakfast in the morning. So life can't be too hopeless.

Sweet dreams, everybody!

Inspiration

That's the name of the game today. The kiddos all banded together today and I had a record TWENTY TWO students perform at four separate recitals today. I am so proud of each and every one of them. I get the same reaction from many people when I tell them how many students I teach, and they all seem to say, "That's a lot!" "Yes," I respond, "But they're easy."

Musicians are very good at inspiring other musicians. No matter what their age. Every single recital I look at their work and think to myself, "Man, I have to start practicing." This time was slightly different. I looked at their work, and thought, "Look at how much they made out of what I assigned them." It's a challenge, to have someone else tell you what to play and get something good out of it. The students made it personal, which is also something I try to emphasize every day. If you're not up there to make music, what's the point?

And so we come to the manifestation of my inspiration: I want to make something out of somebody else's suggestion.

This winter, I will plan on my next recital... probably around Thanksgiving. And I have no ideas for programming. That is where you, dear readers (and eventually facebook friends) will come into play. My next recital will be entirely suggestions from others. Musician or non-musician, violinist or non-violinist, it doesn't matter. Suggestions may range anywhere from Brahms sonatas to Hot Cross Buns. I want a program given to me, as I have a tendency to trust the opinion of the collective versus what I could possibly come up with on my own. (This is kind of the the wikipedia philosphy.)

A more organized facebook campaign is to follow. Until then, post your ideas in the comments! Bach, Beethoven, or Backstreet Boys - nothing is off limits.