Sunday, October 26, 2008



I brought up google images and searched for "stress", but didn't find anything nearly as appropriate as when I searched for "augh." This is a pretty accurate depiction of how I feel these days...

I've taken up compulsive list-making. For my personal practice, for cleaning the apartment, and just generally getting stuff done, including things for work, planning ahead meals (can't just hop over to the Chinese place anymore...) and finding I need to actually make appointments with myself for things like eating. This may be a sign that I'm too busy.

The good thing that I've taken from these past few weeks is my exercise routine. I think running is actually the only thing keeping me sane. I'm addicted to it - while I'm running, I don't have to do anything else. I just give my body natural energy and feel fitter for half an hour every other day. And now, on the days where I come home, frazzled and nearly in tears from the hectic-ness of my life, I find my brain telling me, "Hey, you should go running. You'll feel so much better."

Maybe the toned body will be enough to keep pushing me through this rough time. I don't think my schedule lets up until, oh, February.

Rocking life of a freelance musician.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Running, Day 4

It's cold now, in Oregon. The winter has come, which here means approximately 40 degrees in the evening and 60 degrees come about noon. It will be this way until June.

Damn, I love it here.

I decided, for the first time, to make use of the fitness room here at the apartment complex. (Read: a treadmill, elliptical, and weight machine crammed into a small room that hardly anyone uses.) And there are some serious advantages of working out there. I was able to pace myself appropriately, making sure I was running the same speed during all my sprints. There was indeed no one else in there this morning, so I had the room all to myself. And while I worried that the huge mirror in there might betray the wonderful ignorance that nature provides of what I look like when I run, I actually didn't look too bad - my form is improving the more I do it.

I did end up sweating a lot more in a temperature-controlled environment, however. Turns out when you go running in 45 degrees, the outdoors kind of take care of the sweat part. I also didn't get to explore my neighborhood as much, which I've really been enjoying lately. Maybe alternating the two scenes would keep my training up while giving me changes of sceneries.
***

My stomach makes no sense to me. In addition to gluten, it seems the list of stuff that makes me sick has expanded to milk, avacados, and now, possibly zucchini. I'm keeping a food diary to track what may be the culprit... perhaps the small amount of dairy is enough to make my intestines inflamed again, but it's so hard to give up my tiny chunk of swiss gruyere every day...

I've just realized I'm stepping into a potentially gross stream of thought. Let's just leave it at me being bummed about the avacados.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Teacher Gems

I did the math today: 14 years straight of private lessons. And during that time, I've learned a lot. The stuff that's stayed with me is mostly stuff that, uh, made me crazy. Or made me cry.

On weaknesses:
"I'm making up nicknames for all my students for what they need to work on most. You? You're Casey 'Intonation' Bozell."

On consistency:
"You know, when you're good, you're pretty good. But when you're bad, you're really bad."

On other teachers:
"Who's that guy you used to take with? The one who couldn't teach his way out of a paper bag?"

On perspective:
"When you first came here, Casey, you couldn't play a single note in tune."

On practice strategies:
"Did you even look at this piece this week?"

So when I have a student, who, after picking up the first line of Twinkle Twinkle brilliantly, claims the jump to the second line is way too hard, I want desperately to come up with a gem of my own. You know, something like, "SUFFER!!!"

I don't, however. I restrain myself.

I'm such a good teacher.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Running, Day 3

What a difference a week makes...

I found not nearly as much strain in my running this week, and I think there's a few things that are attributing to that. Obviously, my body is going to find it just slightly easier to run every time I do it, as it gets used to the pain and torture I'm ruthlessly inflicting on it. I also stretched more this morning before I went out (amidst plenty of pops in my muscles - turns out Swan Lake will tighten things up a bit!), and I ran in a quiet neighborhood to make sure I wasn't inhaling car exhaust the WHOLE time I was running. Again, no hacking up a lung, though I did feel a little soreness in my breathing near the end, which I'm pretty sure was because I was breathing in 40 degree air. Day 4 will start a new week, and new tests to my running apparel. Thank goodness I sprung for that sports bra!

In other news, today is my momma's birthday. I'm sure we'll end up bringing her a present when we get out to Knoxville for Thanksgiving, but I'm a little stumped as to what to get. My parents, each in their own way, are a little hard to shop for. They'll both be appreciative of whatever they receive, of course, but my mother, when asked, never wants to burden either me or my sister with the act of getting a gift, claiming our undying love or adoration will be enough gift for her.

Blahhdy blah blah. When really pressed, the best she can come up with is that maybe she needs a new pair of socks.

My father is very forthcoming with what he wants. And most of the time, what he wants starts with the words "circular table saw", combined with some model number and fancy brand name. These usually run in the $500 - $3000 category, and historically are second in gift request only to a high definition big screen television. My grandparents recently got one of those, and every time he's over at their place, suddenly all is right with the world. The Packers could be losing by three touchdowns late in the fourth quarter, and all that manages to come out of his mouth is "but... lookit the picture!"

Christmas, Dad's birthday, and Father's Day are always a mad dash between myself, my mom, and my sister to be the first to pick up the latest Madden Football or Metal Gear Solid game. I usually lose.

So I guess I will go with love and adoration at the moment, because truthfully, it's all I got. Hopefully, sometime within the next month, I'll find something that will just be PERFECT for Momma, and hear those beautiful words of gratefulness, "You didn't have to!"

Friday, October 17, 2008

My quest to become a runner

I have just finished day 2 of my running program... that's out of 27. It's been a dream of mine for a while to consider myself a runner. Right now my label might be someone who runs twice every year after she's forgotten how hard it is. Hardly a regular runner.

But I have plenty of reasons to continue. Back in June, I set a goal for myself to lose 20 pounds by Christmas, and miraculously, I'm halfway there. Just working out regularly shed 5, and the gluten free diet automatically took off another five. Then, for about three weeks, I found myself stuck. I have to up the ante just a bit. Enter week 1 of the Couch to 5K program, which involves a five minute warmup, and eight intervals of running for 60 seconds and walking for 90. It ends with a five minute walking cooldown.

Here's my experience as an official Runner so far:

Day 1: Felt really good until I realized I planned my run around the neighborhood badly, and my last running sprint ended up on the wrong way up a terrible hill. I spent the first couple minutes of my cooldown period heaving and feeling just awful. I then recovered, and found myself breathing relatively shallow breaths by the time I got back to the apartment. I then took a shower, and proceeded to hack stuff up for the next couple of hours. (Really attractive healthy girl. I felt like a smoker.) I realized my path had taken me right next to pretty busy roads, and I'm sure I had been inhaling exhaust and just general crazy cold air for the past half hour. After I cleared my lungs, however, I ended up feeling GREAT - so much so that I decided it was totally worth it to try running outside again, just take another path.

Free Day: I found I needed a little motivation to go ahead with day 2, so I bought some running pants - they totally paid off.

Day 2: Found a different, though still pretty hilly path to take today. I ended up finding a coffee shop within walking distance (what a nice weekend walk that would be for me and Tom!) and an eye care specialist, which, given the state of my eyes, I should have just cut my workout short and demanded an examination. Made a mental note to never run on Hermoso Way, as there's a dog that NOBODY'S watching that will run, barking at me, and follow me until I'm an appropriate distance from its house. (Doesn't yelling "Excuse me! Dog!" make the owners take notice these days?) At the very end of my run, I found a really sweet residential area that has barely any traffic and seems to go on for long enough to get my whole run in... I must explore this more on Sunday. Didn't take nearly as long to recover, though I made sure I ended my run on a flat surface. And though I was pretty sweaty, I have yet to start coughing. I'm assuming this is a good sign.

I am really excited I found that nice, set away neighborhood - that's where I'm going to start on Day 3. There's a big, scary hill pretty soon in to it, but if I make sure I'm running uphill in the middle - not the end - of my run, I feel confident that I can tackle it.

It's weird how this need to run has hit me - I think it's because for some reason, in Portland, EVERYONE is active. Even the stoner crowd wants to be outdoorsy. And for some reason, like staring at the group of smokers in the ditch behind the highschool, I want to know what it feels like to be in the "in" crowd.

My last word about this subject today: I have decided that I'm most certainly looking ridiculous as I run, and I am not yet ready to run with other people. So to all my Portland friends, if you're thinking to yourselves, "Hey! A new running buddy!" - think again. I'm still new here, I JUST got you all to like me. You think I'm going to let you see me heaving, panting, and wiping spit off my mouth while trying not to trip on my own two feet? Hell, no, not yet. Give me time!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Thanks, Reva!

www.handbagplanet.com

I'm girly. Sorry.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

THE DEBATE

Let's talk about it!
The good news: I believe I'm finally making progress in being able to swallow small pills... something I've struggled with my entire life!

The bad news: I've only really been able to succeed at this with Fresca.

Could all local doctor's offices and emergency rooms stock up on this for me? I'd really appreciate it.

Monday, October 6, 2008



Okay, so maybe it's no secret who I happen to be voting for in the upcoming election. This doesn't mean I'm not open to discussion, and if you aren't voting for this guy, you shouldn't be, either.

Now, if you're not voting, I don't think I'm in a place to discuss anything with you until you change your mind. I simply have no tolerance for that stance.

Oregon's pretty much already decided - we're a blue state through and through. So when I was cut off today by a pickup truck with a "McCain/Palin" sticker prominently displayed in the back window, my reactions were "Hey!" and, almost immediately, "Ew!!"

It's a knee-jerk reaction. I learned it from my parents, whose philosophy is, "If you ever vote for a Republican, just please don't tell us."

And then I began to feel bad that I reacted that way. Here's a fella - a Joe Six Pack, if you will - who I didn't even know. I wrapped up all his philosophies and ideals in one little glance made after the frustration of slamming on my brakes. It's not like I'VE never cut anyone off before, and it's not like I don't know what his frustration must feel like right now. After all, I was living in Colorado for the 2000 election. And heck, I may have run into him through my new exciting hobby of political blog reading. He could very well be this guy.

We live in a culture where it's considered impolite to talk about politics in normal conversation with people we don't know very well. I've never understood that part of our society. Isn't it far more inefficient to NOT talk about it? How can we ever get things done? In fact, I've always suspected that it's not actually impolite, so much that one American doesn't want to look another American they're kind of fond of in the face and tell them they think everything they stand for is wrong. So we've come up with these labels of Republicans and Democrats to swiftly stop a conversation before it starts. To identify as one is supposed to tell anyone and everyone everything they need to know about where you stand. As if opinions and rational thought aren't fluid things that are SUPPOSED to change and be thought through. Or is that just my Left Wing Rationalism talking??

The age of blogging is an age of change, and I'm so happy. Because, much like breaking up with someone, it's so easy to put your political discussions in written form and leave it out for someone to read than to actually seek out a person-to-person conversation and debate face-to-face. And that's good enough for me.

It's a hot topic. And I'm excited to discuss it with anyone who's willing. Including that pickup truck driver.
Okay, I'll admit... I'm not sure this is completely healthy. I wake up in the morning, and I'm friggin' HUNGRY. But if I wait for a little while, the hunger pangs go away, and I can work out a little bit. Theoretically, I burn more calories this way, because I'm not busy trying to burn off breakfast. But after spending the last few months putting the microscope up to my digestive system, it worries me a little bit to mess with it like this. After all, I just got it working again.

But I'm kind of excited to start this running program again. Robert Ullery designed a wonderful podcast that follows Cool Running's "Couch to 5K" program. He sets it to (cheesy) techno music and tells you when to start running and walking at different intervals. It seems really effective, if I can just stick to it.

Besides, I tried on my wedding dress again, and while I admittedly look pretty good, I'd like it to fit comfortably on my wedding day. This means losing a few pounds - not a dramatic amount - and the best way to do this healthily by June seems to be putting myself on a reasonable but not dramatic exercise plan. Running seems to fit the bill...

I think I'll start next week. You know, after I have a chance to buy a few more sports bras.

Sunday, October 5, 2008



Question... can you read this??

For the past few days in the pit, during our Traviata run, those crossovers to the ballet in the violin section have been practicing a huge book filled with pages that look like this. A recording of said practicing would be much more effective, but I'll attempt to lay it out here in blog form:
fragment of music played
"What?"
two notes played
"What the hell is that note?"
A slide up to an unknown and unwelcome position
"Waitaminute. One, two, three... that's a G sharp?? Shoot!"

Thus begins our run of Swan Lake. And thus continues a pattern of somewhat fruitless practicing and blaming of my glasses prescription that's two years old.